A New Start....For Real This Time

I've seen this tree before. I recognize these crossroads. It all looks the same and sounds the same. I think to myself "This is going to be my fresh start" or "Here's my new beginning" when the truth is, I've had so many new beginnings that I can't remember the last time a new beginning did anything new for my life.

Each new beginning starts the same way. I realize that I have gotten uncomfortably big. My clothes don't fit anymore (or at least not well) and I want to make a change. I get stern with myself and say "enough is enough". I start to look for reasons that things have gotten so bad. "We keep too much junk food in the house" "My knee injury is keeping me for exersicing" "If we'd just cook more meals at home" Then I come up with wild solutions. We'll stop buying junk food, we'll find new workout regimes that cater to my sore knee. We'll buy all kinds of delicious foods to cook at home. But nothing ever changes.

So, how? How do you create that change? How do you really look yourself in the eye and stop with the self inflicted punishment that is a food obsession?

I don't actually know the answer. I wish I did. I don't even really expect anyone to come up with an answer for me. I just somehow hope that getting this all out will help me in some way. Again, I doubt that it will. I've posted similiar sentiments on Instagram and my last blog post was something of this nature as well. 

Life In The New Year

So here's the thing about the New Year.....every year: People are always making lame resolutions about what they're going to do differently in the upcoming year. Isn't that just the sweetest? My answer is: NO! Very few people actually have any intention of changing anything about their lives. I've only made one resolution stick and that was ridding my vocabulary of the "retarded" as a term of teasing. However, I digress. 

I want to be clear on something. This is in no way a resolution. All I want to do is to write about my weight loss journey and my "second 100". The title is a reference to reaching the wonderful milestone of weighing....you've got it....200 lbs. 

I have no way of knowing how many people will actually read this, but I do no that I can't give anyone a daily run-down of how disciplined I am about changing my lifestyle to be healthier. I plan my entries to be short and to the point. With that being said, I plan to be completely candid about my struggle to lose weight and my frustrations with gaining it back. I know I can't be alone with this, and if I can manage to help one person by letting them know that I can relate, it will all be worth it.